Tu me manque

It doesn't seem possible that a month ago today I was crawling into bed next to James for the last night of my time in Paris. It seems so much longer than that since the last time I got to kiss him goodnight. My last day in Paris was wonderful. James and I spent the day sightseeing in Paris with Maelle, one of his daughters. It was truly wonderful to get to see the Dad side of him in action. That day in Paris was truly bittersweet. On one hand it was wonderful to be in the city that I love so much with the love of my life. On the other hand I was dreading each passing hour as I knew it meant that the time would arrive when I would have to say goodbye. If a genie had appeared that day I would have surely asked for time to stand still. Instead I tried my best to smile and soak in every last second. On the drive home that last night we listened to "our songs" and held hands in the car with tears running down both of our faces. I am not sure that I slept much that last night as I knew that waking up meant I had to leave for the airport. On the way to the airport we stopped at the bakery for one last croissant. At the airport we went through the motions of finding the ticket counter I had to check in at and checking my luggage (which was NOT over the weight limit this time). We then proceed to the security area and arrived to find a pretty long line. Suddenly it was time to say goodbye. Amongst all of the tears we kissed and hugged each other. Not knowing when the next time I would be able to do this, I definitely held on a little tighter. Maelle began to cry and we did a group hug. I knew that there would be things I wanted to say to him but wouldn't be able to, so I had written him a note before leaving for the airport that morning and tucked it in his pocket when saying goodbye. There was one last kiss and I started the walk through the zig zag security line. James and Maelle stayed and watched me until the very last second they could see me, they blew me a kiss and then they were gone from sight. I am pretty sure that the other passengers flying didn't quite know what to make of me. I did my best to cry silently as I sat on the plane waiting to take off. Once we were in flight and I couldn't stop crying I thought it would be a good idea to take out my journal that I had brought with and try and write through the tears. As I jotted down some things I didn't want to forget about my time in Paris for whatever reason I flipped a few pages ahead. There was a note from James and petals from my Valentine roses. This definitely brought on the tears even stronger. As I got ready that morning I sat looking at my flowers and was thankful that I had taken a picture of them since I had to leave them behind. Now I sat looking at the petals knowing that he had thought the same thing and wanted to send a piece of them with me.
I would like to be able to say that it has gotten easier as this month has passed, but that wouldn't be truthful. You see I know what I am missing now. Before arriving in Paris I had envisioned what my time with James would be like. How much fun we would have, what it would be like to hug him, to kiss him, to wake up next to him. Now I know, and my heart does too. When you have found your person you just want to be next to them. So now continues the process of making that happen.

Castles, parks, and dinner

So much to write about, so little time. Yesterday was a fun filled day of visiting Chateau Versailles, the city of Rambouillet, and having dinner at June's home(James' brother). The castle in Versailles was amazing! There are really no words to explain how beautiful and exquisite it is. It seemed that around every corner of touring the castle there was something more breathtaking than the last. It is definitely a place you normally only see in the movies. We also walked around the gardens and that was equally wonderful. I can only imagine how beautiful the gardens are in the summer at full bloom.We took many pictures of the castle and of course got a few snapshots of us together. I joked with James that we will have more than enough photo options for this years Christmas card!!
James then took me to Rambouillet, a city that he would like to move to in the near future. We walked around first to try and find a place to exchange US dollars for Euros. I had done this in the train station going to London but not since. This was not a successful mission! It seems that no bank (at least not in Ramouillet) has any desire to take my American money, this mission will have to wait for Paris. After giving up this quest we walked through the main park of the city. Envision a large park, with a body of water in the middle, green grass all around, a path for walking/running, a fancy carousel outside the main gate, and a "small" castle. Typical park right? We talked about seeing ourselves here having a picnic, reading a book on the grass, or going for a run. I look forward to the day when this can be a reality.
The day was topped off by dinner with June and his girlfriend. It was a great meal and we both ate way too much! It was also a strong reminder for my need to learn French. A dinner is less fun when you don't understand the conversation going on around you. Well we are off this evening to visit a coworker of James and have dinner with them, hopefully I can contribute more to the dinner conversation this time. I am way more fun and charming when I can communicate, lol!

Arrival in London

This evening we are in London, sitting in the home of a lifelong friend of James and enjoying the company of him and his family. This required that we wake early to navigate the train and subway in France as well as the Eurostar, subway, and train in London. Traveling with him is fun, easy, and priceless. We were fortunate enough to be invited to travel first class on the Eurostar which was a great surprise and luxury. Upon arrival in London it was a bit strange to so quickly be back in a city where English is the primary language. I was able to ask for information and clarification and understand the response which was helpful since both of us were tired and would have loved a nap. To contribute to this, my sleep schedule has not adjusted as well as it has in the past when jumping so many time zones. I think part of me doesn't want to miss one single second of my time with James and the excitement of being next to him. The lack of sleep showed up in tears this morning when the alarm went off at 6a.m. to get up and ready for the trip (I had been awake for 3 hours already). As the song "True Companion" was playing this morning and I was laying in James' arms I started to cry. My response to why was "I don't want to leave." To which he replied with some confusion, "to London?" I said "never, I can't even imagine having to leave you." Knowing that we have both agreed to try and not focus on the end of our time together during this trip, he did what he could and made me laugh by stating "don't cry because you need to go shower, that is something little children do." It totally worked and I laughed through the tears. It has been another amazing day of falling in love with James more and more every minute.

Soaking in all of the love, laughter, and sights of this wonderful place (and hopefully some sleep tonight).

I am finally "home"

This blog entry comes to you from FRANCE, woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There were a few minor glitches to the travel here. 1. My luggage exceed the 50 lb maximum. I thought for sure that I had read that for international travel you could have 75 lbs, not the case (so insert an absurd fee). 2. The lovely staff of Delta airlines somehow broke the wheel on my (heavy) suitcase. Thanks much Delta!!! Thankfully there was an amazing man with a huge smile to greet me!

After a great lunch together, we spent yesterday afternoon visiting June and the children at their home. It was great to see them all again. Then home to hangout, drink some wine and have some dinner!
This morning was perfect! I watched Julie and Julia while James went to the bakery to get French bread!! There is nothing quite like sharing coffee and french bread in France with the person you love. As I may have mentioned before, Korean food is James' favorite. He has been teasing me for months that to fully pass the test I would need to be able to cook Korean food. I am happy to report that I passed the test!! My first official Korean meal of bulgogi and it turned out GREAT!

The last 24 hours have been pretty emotional (insert happy tears). After the inital nervousness of seeing him subsided, it has quickly felt like I have been with him my entire life. One of my dear friends put it best, It feels like coming home! I think my heart and soul have always known that this is where I needed to be to truly come alive. All of the laughs we have shared, the electricity I feel sitting next to him, having him hold me, kiss me, and the smiles that seem to be permanently on both of our faces; I know that this is just the beginning of an amazing life with each other.

Tomorrow we are off to London for a few days before returning to Paris. I have no doubt that this will be a great trip!

The final week

I am pretty sure that every woman (and man for that matter) have experienced the effort you put into looking GOOD on a first date. While James and I have spent time together in the past and see each other on skype almost everyday, the first few days together in France there will definitely be those "butterfly feelings" and first date worries going through my head. Let's be honest here, I know he loves me but I want to knock his socks off!!!!

I have been seeking the perfect outfits for months (literally! I bought some clothes back in November that I have yet to wear because they are my "France clothes"). In the last few weeks there have been a few more shopping trips and fashion shows. I have enlisted the best of the best for consulting and opinion purposes. All of my friends and family that have been a part of this have had very kind words to say about how great everything looks. So I am confident that the mission of "a girl should be two things: classy and fabulous" will be accomplished.

So here is the breakdown of where I am at:
Hair cut and colored
Clothes
Buy Deva curl hair product
Cosmetics
Valentine's gift (almost done)
Appt with Lizzy for waxing
Pack suitcase (almost done)
Pack carry-on
Find a power converter (for the European outlets)
Get Korean food/treats and learn how to make James' favorites (more on this to come in next blog)

P.S. 7 days until James sees me in my "France clothes"

The city of love

I have been thinking the past week about what Paris and France will look like to me this time around. The last time I was in Paris it was purely from a "tourist" point of view. I was taking in all of the sights, enjoying the culture, and good company.
All of the movies depict Paris as the city of love and it has "romance"written all over it. I am going to get to experience that in real life, being with someone I am in love with. How totally amazing is that going to be?!  Going to fun restaurants, seeing the Eiffel Tower up close again with James by my side, taking pictures together for every photo opportunity that arises (and there will be LOTS of them). I am excited to be one of "those" couples. You know the ones you look at and think, "I want to be in love like those two people are" or "that couple is having so much fun together." So many times I have crossed the path of one of "those" couples and imagined getting to experience that someday. The time I get to spend in Paris will never be long enough but I plan on soaking in every single second of being with James, in love, and in Paris!

35 Days and I will be one of "those" people

A rollercoaster week

Last week was emotional for me! James went to the hospital for the scheduled back surgery on Monday. Things didn't go exactly according to plan as he ended up having to go into surgery twice and stay a few days longer than initially planned. During this time I was miserable! I hated that I could not be there by his side to reassure him, comfort him, and keep him company. The phone calls and messages just didn't seem like enough. I shed more than a few tears knowing that his discharge date was delayed and he may not be home in time for Christmas. This was more than I could handle, because really NO ONE deserves to be alone or stuck in a hospital on Christmas.

In the midst of all of this THE package arrived in MN from France (and with 2 days to spare). We set a "date" of opening gifts together on Skype on Christmas Eve. This didn't happen as he was told he would spend another day in the hospital. He suggested I go ahead and open my gifts anyways to which I replied, "UH NO, I am waiting for you to be home!"

So the BEST Christmas present I got from France this year was him arriving home on Christmas afternoon. It was SO great to see his face again while talking with him. Six days was just WAY too long! We opened gifts together and it was fantastic to see the smile on his face!! I had sent him a few different gifts but the main gift was a watch. Not just any watch but a watch that has two watches built into one; Dual time zones, one set to France time and one set to Central Standard time in the US!! He loved it, which brought me GREAT joy!!

I was SPOILED and received perfume and a necklace. Both of which are wonderful! The necklace is a representation of James' heart. So now his heart is as close to mine as it can be until I get to France.

Just in case Santa hasn't hit the Caribbean yet, I have one more Christmas wish...that this is the ONLY Christmas I have to spend apart from James!!!

P.S. 41 days!!